I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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