My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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