Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
