i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
