Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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