yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
