You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Found the puke drawer
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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