i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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