i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Boobs are out for the taking
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
