You made me cry and you don't even care
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
