I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize