ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
