I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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