If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
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The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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