It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
