Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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