i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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