Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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