that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
