It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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