$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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