sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
