can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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