guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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