Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
