I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
