I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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