I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
