Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet

(330): View more from Ohio

I'll alert the authorities

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(301): View more from Maryland

He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.

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(312): View more from Illinois

kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(305): View more from Florida

you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He's only a little bit crosseyed.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Clutch

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