Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.

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  (817): you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar. http://tfl.nu/9tne
  Replies (16) Good night (3129) Bad night (710)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.

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  (702): Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever. http://tfl.nu/0wgs
  Replies (18) Good night (4488) Bad night (753)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm watching ellen!

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show

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  (615): I'm watching ellen! (1-615): just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show http://tfl.nu/chlu
  Replies (12) Good night (11586) Bad night (1690)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.

  (409): View more from Texas

  That was definitely the right answer.

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  (406): She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her. (409): That was definitely the right answer. http://tfl.nu/zisl
  Replies (19) Good night (6949) Bad night (1350)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops

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  (682): There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops http://tfl.nu/zics
  Replies (5) Good night (1370) Bad night (2658)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not

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  (631): i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not http://tfl.nu/6wfd
  Replies (24) Good night (1091) Bad night (6403)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...

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  (412): New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move... http://tfl.nu/y03w
  Replies (12) Good night (3413) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.

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  (337): I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be. http://tfl.nu/u40q
  Replies (5) Good night (1030) Bad night (733)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all

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  (970): So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all http://tfl.nu/hnjr
  Replies (6) Good night (549) Bad night (1003)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.

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  (419): By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame. http://tfl.nu/xvaq
  Replies (10) Good night (1091) Bad night (530)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.

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  (303): Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place. http://tfl.nu/duki
  Replies (8) Good night (490) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.

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  (514): i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag. http://tfl.nu/q8nn
  Replies (10) Good night (1012) Bad night (801)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.

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  (248): They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror. http://tfl.nu/3vjx
  Replies (2) Good night (1264) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear

  (1-716): View more from New York

  The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear

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  (716): oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear (1-716): The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear http://tfl.nu/5vws
  Replies (4) Good night (844) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up

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  (978): who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up http://tfl.nu/4fxs
  Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (211)

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