I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
so much tequila, so little girl.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER