Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

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  (816): My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won. http://tfl.nu/68w0
  Replies (4) Good night (975) Bad night (1092)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side

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  (603): yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side http://tfl.nu/thqa
  Replies (77) Good night (1157) Bad night (3201)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows

  (1-760): View more from California

  i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal

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  (760): the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows (1-760): i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal http://tfl.nu/0c7c
  Replies (18) Good night (2439) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!

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  (973): if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out! http://tfl.nu/a5qm
  Replies (23) Good night (704) Bad night (4635)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.

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  (937): Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party. http://tfl.nu/of2q
  Replies (33) Good night (3693) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  "Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move

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  (601): "Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move http://tfl.nu/qn14
  Replies (10) Good night (1163) Bad night (3351)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious

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  (716): I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious http://tfl.nu/9ib6
  Replies (14) Good night (3456) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.

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  (530): You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her. http://tfl.nu/7jba
  Replies (6) Good night (4015) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.

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  (320): In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen. http://tfl.nu/m4s0
  Replies (9) Good night (3313) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words

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  (802): Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words http://tfl.nu/ilbf
  Replies (0) Good night (1008) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.

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  (716): Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum. http://tfl.nu/mwlv
  Replies (3) Good night (1316) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.

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  (252): Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation. http://tfl.nu/waj0
  Replies (5) Good night (890) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated

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  (973): You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated http://tfl.nu/yaej
  Replies (6) Good night (1149) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I'm going through a really dark time right now

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up

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  (469): I'm going through a really dark time right now (214): I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up http://tfl.nu/zlw3
  Replies (5) Good night (647) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.

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  (303): Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second. http://tfl.nu/m7me
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (429)

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