he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."