Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.