I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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