He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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