So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
