my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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