so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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