the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
