Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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