No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
