ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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