i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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