What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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