She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Congratulations! We have a period
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