This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
