evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
His nipple licking is glorious
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