I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
