So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
