so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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