We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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