I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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