So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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