she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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