hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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