you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just pynch a tree in the face
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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