Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
