I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
