I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
