the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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