I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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