I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
