Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Who died my cat blue again?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
