just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
