I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
