What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize