is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
