Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
