me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.