I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.