I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.