i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.