i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot