Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!

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  (303): I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh! http://tfl.nu/2rr5
  Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (1205) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.

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  (614): You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat. http://tfl.nu/8yi0
  Replies (36) Good night (787) Bad night (2936) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:

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  (305): Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D: http://tfl.nu/t26u
  Replies (12) Good night (2318) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.

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  (901): Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods. http://tfl.nu/16un
  Replies (26) Good night (3963) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?

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  (407): Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ? http://tfl.nu/brtl
  Replies (10) Good night (3948) Bad night (1140) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  when did we get a doorman?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we were also in the wrong building...

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  (203): yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman. (508): when did we get a doorman? (203): we were also in the wrong building... http://tfl.nu/c2ke
  Replies (15) Good night (6764) Bad night (881)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time

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  (425): I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I? (1-425): you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time http://tfl.nu/bm15
  Replies (5) Good night (4538) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.

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  (618): My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has. http://tfl.nu/36lp
  Replies (11) Good night (6669) Bad night (1547)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.

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  (912): we bribed her with croutons and jello shots. http://tfl.nu/71j8
  Replies (4) Good night (3147) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that

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  (920): She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that http://tfl.nu/8ytu
  Replies (13) Good night (907) Bad night (4565) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.

  (1-707): View more from California

  is that even a sentence?

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  (707): I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina. (1-707): is that even a sentence? http://tfl.nu/j6fd
  Replies (13) Good night (3082) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.

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  (770): Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers. (504): A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome. http://tfl.nu/wa4b
  Replies (4) Good night (2015) Bad night (509)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.

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  (484): future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/vyz8
  Replies (9) Good night (1613) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.

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  (330): My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story. http://tfl.nu/g1cp
  Replies (6) Good night (947) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.

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  (570): Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter. http://tfl.nu/84op
  Replies (11) Good night (1148) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt

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