Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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